and we’re off, the school year starts and we jump in…

Whoa. Things got a little busy there. Between finishing the mural, printing and researching all the information i needed to know before printing on wood and the whole taking care of 2 small humans, I guess I forgot to write.

I think I was also feeling a little overwhelmed.

My last entry was a little sad. The summer is gone, the teaching year is here. I think every teacher gets a little crazy with self doubt and anxiousness around this time of year: “How will my classes go?” “What if I forgot how to teach?” “Is my room/lesson plan/road map ready?” “What am I gonna wear?” These are the thoughts that travel through my mind on top of the, “how will my baby do without me?” “what if I start leaking milk while teaching?” “will my mom be totally overwhelmed by both boys?”

The thing is, every year, to some degree, we all have to just jump in. And I think I like the ‘jump in’ part of teaching. It’s full of action, and trying something and forward movement. AND, if things don’t go so well, at least it makes for great stories afterward. I just hope my stories don’t end with “and the baby cried all day without me” or “my whole shirt was soaked” or “I can’t do this”.

So lately:

mural project, Whidbey Island, WA

::Jamfest:: Canton Alley, International District, Seattle

custom tree for thumbprint wedding guestbook

So I guess that starts the catch up. There will be more another day. I think I’ve decided to keep this blog going, for now. It started as a summer project, but it has been a fun place to chronicle our adventures.

Next time? Dinner Club snapshots, more from Canton Alley and maybe even San Diego (oh the catching up I have to do:)

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Where did summer go?

It has been too long since I’ve made time to write. I have been breaking in my new sketchbook, playing with my boys, finishing up projects and today, well today I’ve been freaking out.

I have my first teacher meeting of the 2011-2012 school year tomorrow. It’s only half a day but it struck me across the face like a hard slap.

I have to leave my baby.

I love parenting for the constant lessons in theoretical and actual.
Theoretically going back to work half time when your baby is 3.5 months old, and leaving him in the care of the amazing woman who raised you, is fabulous. Theoretically it seems like a great balance of sanity for mama (that being me), bonding time for Meme (my mom) all the while keeping us out of the “qualifying for food stamps” income bracket.

The actual? It breaks my heart.

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3 months old!

You, my youngest son, are just lovely (when you’re not crying). You get pretty excited about: having people hold you, especially when that person is me, drinking milk, your brother’s goofy face game, colorful pictures, laying outside and having a dry diaper. You don’t like: sleeping laying down (“please wrap me in a sling and bounce me on a yoga ball” you say to me daily), when your brother pulls on your limbs, being away from your mama (me), riding in the car or being set down.

We still think you look like your dad. You’re starting to flirt with that smile of yours. Strangers love you. You’re great in public (mostly).

Your grandpa will hold you forever if you let him. Your meme (grandma) thinks you’re pretty sweet. Your dad loves every second he gets with you while you’re happy, he hates hearing you get upset. He is excited for the day when you like hanging with daddy more than just as much as mama.

You are drooling through at least 5 shirts a day. Chewing on everything, including your right hand, mainly your pointer finger. You’re also growing like a weed. 6 month clothes fit nicely. Time to box up the little stuff I guess.

Oh did I mention that we love you? Well we do. I think everyone that meets you loves you to pieces. That smile of yours just melts me.

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In his own time

Decatur has decided that he’s “old enough for his bike”. I got it for him at the very beginning of summer. I had visions of him hopping on and doing laps.

Not so much. He sat on it once and decided that it was “a bit too tippy for him”. No joke, he really said that. Two days ago he saw the bike, and said, “I wanna ride* my bike!” Now he’s all about it. Just goes to show you me, things will happen all in his own time. It’s good to have constant reminders that my job is not to make him do what I want him to do, but to support him in what he wants to do. That’s the job, right?

*Please note that by ride we are actually saying sitting on and scoot around. But, compared to the bike sitting in the corner neglected, it’s a big step.

Coming up: Gideon’s 3 month photos (yet to be taken), our journey to find more wood to print on (yes, I said print on, I’m so excited) and maybe a Confessions of a Curvy Girl post. Phew… I just need a few more hours in the day. This morning Jonny looks at me and says, “you’re busy”. Indeed I am, but it’s good busy.

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I know, I know… and parenting woes {yet gems?}

First off, I know… I’ve been absent. Like totally, completely non existent for the last week (seriously 7 days). I have a zillion (yes that’s more than a million, I teach math) excuses. I don’t need to share them outright, I’m sure you can guess. Travel, projects, elSage stuff; oh and then there’s this little deal of having an almost 3 year old and a just 3 month old. Jesus, it’s enough to make anyone lose track of themselves.

So rather than pretend and try to catch up on my write every day assignment, I’m admitting to imperfection. No, seriously?

Ha.

Right, I hope you never thought I was trying to pretend I was super woman… this girl? Not perfect and proud of it.

Part of doing this assignment is participating in what I asked my students to do, and to realize first hand how hard it can be. So, whatever, I missed a few days and I’ll catch you up when I get a chance. We’ve been on Whidbey Island working on a mural on some shed doors. it was a success but so much work and stress.

While I was focused on not fucking up the mural I was thinking about society and culture, the expectations for women and mothers, body image and self-esteem along with family relations and what’s really important in life. I know, right, ticker tape is what my husband calls it. Just a running stream of ideas, thoughts and opinions.

So now we’re home. I’m processing my thoughts here and there. Wondering what will actually make it to writing. We’re fraying a bit in these parts… we have a baby who seems to be teething (yes, I realize it’s a tad early but there’s drool, sleeplessness, tears and chewing… so yeah, I think teething) a two year old who is quite opinionated and refuses to be potty trained and two sleep deprived adults.

It’s just that it’s hard.

That’s really all I have to say about it. Parenting is super hard. It’s beautiful, it teaches you things that you cannot learn any other way, but it’s insanely hard.

One more thing before I quit trying to nurse and type at the same time:

The other night (or maybe a week ago) we were watching some tv show via the internet and there was a scene where a mom was sending her teenage daughter out on her first date, then the camera cut to the mom looking at a photo of her daughter as a baby. I burst into tears. Jon looked at me like, oh no, here we go. I was crying because I realized: they are going to grow up. These boys are going to grow up and not want to be around us and possibly marry women who hate me (yes, I realize my husband might need a support group just to deal with me).

So as hard as this whole parenting thing is, I want to keep it. To put it in a box and hang on to the nursing and the baby smell and the tiny little body needing his mama. I want to put D’s pride in deciding he’s ready for his bike and excitement about riding in a golf cart in there too. Don’t hang on too tight, I keep telling myself. And then I tear up. This is really hard, and yet I love it.

Speaking of boxes, I have to put all of our 0-3 and some of our 3-6 month clothes in a box. This baby is growing like a weed. Next time I write I will have photos, I promise.

 

 

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Home

We are home, we arrived right on time yesterday. The boys slept almost the entire flight. We were not a hot mess like before.

Now we are home. Its 9:30 am, I’m still in bed. I’m reluctant to get up. There is a sleeping baby next to me. The other boys have gone to the coop for supplies. When I get out of bed I need to prioritize laundry, mural planning, other projects, packing orders, figuring out the Chinatown art show, editing photos, putting together Thank Yous, and of course parenting and enjoying time with all the boys.

So here I am, caching up on blogs. Enjoying the cool quiet.

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Yay… and boo!

Yay! Jonny is done with the conference.
Boo, the best breakfast place on Mission had a 45 minute wait and we had a 2 year old wanting pancakes “right now”.

Yay! We are in the raddest room at the Inn at Sunset Cliffs.
Boo, we had to wait for it to be cleaned during nap time and then move which worked up the 2 year old and the baby.
Yay, they finally sleep.

Yay, we’re on vacation!
Boo, is this really relaxing?

Jonny is convinced that we will never leave the house again once we return home. He’s being a little dramatic, BUT I will say traveling with “Los Dos” is harder than just the one. Single moms, people with twins, my hat is off to you.

Oh… And what else have we been up to? Rad street fair (fun pics will follow when I’m home to my computer) minus the indecision about what to eat for dinner. Flamingo feather earrings that I totally should have purchased (damn my indecision). A hot night sleep with broken air conditioner. A move to OB today (woohoo). Bad breakfast that made me feel sick (boo!) and now? Nap time. Bliss, love, quiet, yay!

Coming soon: swimming, help from grandparents and an evening beer. Ahh, yes I think this may be vacation.

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